Hope is Rising

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In 2017 I was at a place of despair. It’s crazy to think that I am writing this about myself on this blog format. I am normally personal through poetry, but this time, in as simple English as possible, let’s get personal.

So in 2017 as I said before I was at a place of despair. What? But Nicolette, You were a Christian even then! Yes, I was and still am for your information. I am and will never be exempt from anything life throws at us. As long as we’re involved, something’s bound to go wrong/ human beings; we break things, people and hearts and I was definitely heartbroken.

Trauma had set in. The dormant parts of my life that I thought I had under control, soon erupted causing me to relive past offences over and over again. Memories I was shocked existed, crept out of their holes. Like spiders in the corners of your house chilling in their webs, waiting for their prey to struggle to the death, so did these memories have me, my mind and I was almost consumed.    

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God saved me from my sins and is delivering me daily from the things that were laid upon me. I have mentioned before that even Christians are not without the issues of life nor the issues of people and violations. The bible says that we should hold on because we will overcome the trouble. It says that we do because Christ has overcome the world (John 16 verse 33. I have had to climb through the dirt and rubble of depression and anxiety. My faith wasn’t non-existent but my mind and body were just tired. I laid there with tears in my eyes and the feeling of someone digging a hole from underneath me. It was then I cried out to my God. The foundations of my faith had remained. Scriptures upon scriptures written upon my heart brought to recollection that Hope is risen.

Everything I was feeling at that moment was not permanent but temporary and soon would pass. Many times we make permanent decisions in temporary places. The words tried to come and eventually all that slipped out was “God I know what Your word says, help me!” I was not without counselling and I definitely prayed and to this date pray that I won’t slip back into that state. That was 2017. it’s now 2020 and I continue to fight against trauma and flashbacks, but I know I have hope because of Jesus. He went through suffering and pain temporarily. He went to the grave temporarily only to permanently defeat death, the and hell. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weakness…” Hebrews 4 verse 15 and so I remember this and know that I too can get through. In the end, it says in Revelation 12 verse 11 that one of the things that cause us as believers to win is the blood of the lamb (Jesus Christ).

 I did want to give up. I almost did, but I’m glad I didn’t. As time went on I was able to face 2018 and by 2019 I realised that the devil sometimes wants to kill the potential in you. I don’t even want to give him too much credit, but this trial tried to break me for sure. The true test of faith the bible speaks of is said to come by fiery trials (1st Peter 1 verse 7). I think its fair to say that I have experienced some fiery trials. Will be the last time I’m tested? I doubt it. I know that it’s hard, however, I’ve experienced hope rising in my life every day since. I will be able to pull through because experience, as they say, brings wisdom. Maybe not for all but for most. And, now I look on to 2020 with hope and love and gratefulness for life.

 I understand that if I hadn’t built my foundation on Christ I would be lost. If I had given up I would have missed out on dating this great person in my life. I would’ve forfeited my destiny and all that God has in store for me. What’s that you ask? We’ll just have to wait and see. “For eye has not seen ear has not heard nor has entered into the heart of man what is prepared for them who love Him.” 1st Corinthians 2 verse 9.   

Face to face

I choose to get lost in the space between your eyes and your smile

because I’m afraid of diving off the board too soon in the oceans above

I’m not the strongest swimmer

and I don’t know how or if I’ll come through the other end

So…
Every now and then

I dare myself to let go

take a dip

with the hope that faith will keep me afloat.

I could get use to this

The more I go I’ll be an expert for sure

And then I think again

get out of the water

you’ve been going in too much

Out I come

And here faith has me wandering

hopping over freckles and creases

to the place where warmth is consistent

or at least I’m hoping for it to be

Where sunshine looks like the letter c on it’s back

and sounds like the scales on a bass guitar

I could listen on endlessly

I’m finding balance

Your oceans are unpacking my vulnerability day by day

Your sunshine giving me just enough heat

and yet it knows when to allow winds of encouragement to blow me over

This is when I know I can be silent and let you lead me.

You were made to rule

For the waters are many

And the sun is pivotal

God knows what He’s doing.

I remember

An essence that takes me through time, where I am staring at your feet

Where my eyes begin to carve out your frame.

The sun rays and your voice are home to me.

Wow! So much from a scent

Just one more whiff and the sound of laughter fills the air as daytime soaps and silly jokes bring us close.

Puff puff, you’re going again,

A reminder that you’re leaving.

Take me with you I’d hope, but I would seldomly get my way.

I pride myself on being independent but never am I too proud when I think of how much I need you.

Romans 8:31

When you see me by myself know that I’m not alone.

I’ve chosen to be called a child of God and so with every step I take even in the trials I know to whom I belong.

You may think my world is falling apart and even laugh and gossip but you are not my enemy and we are not at war.

I am merely that tree dancing in the storm directed by His divine grace as to how to bend when the winds come.

Though I may get wet the umbrella of my foundation in Jesus keeps me from the loose objects floating around.

Yes! keeps me from being broken by your tongue.

He is for me and even when others are not,

I ask myself who’s more powerful; infinite God or man who only knows to rot.

TGFF

Its Easter time and whilst many are consumed with chocolate eating, hot crust buns or like my fellow Jamaicans; bun and cheese, the real reason for Easter is Jesus. Some may say why is everything about Jesus? All things were created by Him and for Him Colossians 1 verse 16. Your life is not your own you were bought with a price 1st Corinthians 6 verse 20. So like Christmas points to CHRIST so does Easter. SO if you’re thinking Good Friday is just a day to sleep in you’re wrong. Its the day we commemorate the crucifixion of the Jesus. Whilst we were lying,stealing, fornicating, hating each other, coveting others, Jesus was hanging bleeding suffering in our stead. Death is sad but the only death that gives life eternally happened and we should remember everyday but more especially today. Thank God For Friday.

 

 

A kingdom of segregation?

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We live in such a beautifully but messed up world. One of the greatest blunders in human history is racism. Whether you call it colour consciousness, light skin, dark skin or even in-between it all stems from racism. It is no wonder why people are always so kinked in themselves about other races who make themselves seem superior to others. Let’s be clear, I’m talking about black and white. It would be great if I could just say that in 2018 things should be different, and so hope to change the mindsets of mankind. However, I know the deal! I know that nothing can ever repay for lives lost and stolen through slavery. Not to mention the injustice many still face. From police killings to inequalities in the workplace, many black people still feel stuck and so they are angry towards whites and would rather stay as far as possible. “No mixing,” they say and even the church is impacted by this.

Bringing the world into the church

There are certain attitudes expected from people of the church and people of the world. I know all too much about this and have seen how many times we transfer our worldliness to the church and expect for God to be pleased with us. You cannot function as a child of God whilst harbouring these kinds of feelings. It boils down to whether you are just religious or whether you have a relationship with God.

Every true believer should know that they are to love their neighbour as their selves Matthew 22 verse 39. How can you claim to love God whom you have not seen and hate your brother who you see? 1st John 4 verse 20. It is the call for us to not use carnal “fleshy” nature to combat issues of life.Where others seek retaliation and vengeance, we should instead put on forgiveness and allow the love of Christ to rule in us. This makes for maintaining the testimony of Christ.

To say that in the melting pots of western societies there is still that deep segregation within the church is shameful. There should not be an all Nigerian Church or an all “White” church, especially in the communities around me, but that is what you will find. I know it is easier to speak to someone who is similar to you, but if winning souls is your aim as a church (which it should be as it is our first priority as children of God) why are you not stepping out of the box to reach these souls as well. They say there is a place for everyone but what if your church is the only place these people can receive the gospel? Are you going to shun them because they look different or because you feel different towards them?

A Gospel for all

I am always drawn to John 3 verse 16. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son so that WHOEVER believes in Him can have everlasting life.” The Gospel is for EVERYONE and not just some. Not Just blacks or whites or Asians or the in-between alone but for ALL. I think this slips the minds of many believers today. Imagine if Christ said only blacks could receive salvation or vice versa, the majority of us would be in trouble and God would not be seen as the loving God He is. In His mercy, He has made salvation inclusive because He only made one race but because of sin and mankind’s stupidity, we see this filtering through the church.

I have had a few discussions about this with people and it baffles me that some are so consumed with what they want from God. How do you expect God to bless you when you won’t even obey Him. One of the greatest commandments is “…Love thy neighbour as thyself” Matthew 22 verse 39. As this is a commandment, you would expect this to be a high priority, but as this involves us making ourselves uncomfortable it becomes somewhat redefined to be “love the people around me, the people who are like me.”

I do understand that many white folks don’t want to hear the gospel and the truth is that more black folks go to church, but that doesn’t mean that there isn’t one who wouldn’t be open to receiving it. Our job is not to be the judge but to be the bearers of the message issued by the almighty judge Himself. Whether they accept it or not is up to the individual and we pray that they do. The world may be singing this song of “stay in your lane and I in mine” but the church’s song should be different.

After this, I looked, and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and before the Lamb. They were wearing white robes and were holding palm branches in their hands. Revelation 7 verse 9. This is one verse that has stuck in my mind since the beginning of my walk with Christ. If this is a picture of what heaven is going to be like shouldn’t you be preparing yourself now. Hating people and keeping yourself distance is a hindrance to obtaining heaven.

Who do you resemble?

Two wrongs don’t make a right. Avoiding others because of what they’ve done to you or retaliating, in the same manner, is not the way we should react as the church. No matter how justified you may feel it goes back to the point of sacrifice. Just as we are undeserving of God’s love and mercy, nevertheless Christ came and gave Himself in our stead. So, looking at His example-ship we should imitate Christ as Paul says in 1st Corinthians 11 verse 1. Show love, grace and mercy. 

I know that there are going to be those who just don’t care. They blame mixing for societies confusion but if they really looked to God they’ll see that the world wants to label everything and everyone. In order to find where your true identity is, look to your creator and don’t rely on society because they have lost their way. This is why it is so important to keep the world and the church separate. I digress. If after the flood Noah and all his children went in the same direction we wouldn’t have all this mess. We are all the same we just look different and that is the beauty of the HUMAN RACE!

God vs logic

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26 KJV
https://bible.com/bible/1/mat.19.26.KJV

As a young woman I’ve faced many obstacles that to many people are unimaginable. When it comes to seeing God move in the impossible I’m a witness so take it from me, if He has done it before who says He can’t do it again. God’s word is spirit and we need to trust the word rather than focusing on our natural man which only points out the facts of life when God’s word is clearly above the logic of man

Who are you?

Many people like to say I’m a child of God and yet they live a distant life from God the father. Wouldn’t you be expected to know your father and no not on a shallow level. You are only a child of God when you accept Christ for outside of Christ we are enemies of God because of sin. I say this to make you choose where would you stand as children, partakers of the inheritance of Jesus or outside the family of God. The thing is its not that God doesn’t love you, it’s that you choose to try and live abandoned.