Hope is Rising

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In 2017 I was at a place of despair. It’s crazy to think that I am writing this about myself on this blog format. I am normally personal through poetry, but this time, in as simple English as possible, let’s get personal.

So in 2017 as I said before I was at a place of despair. What? But Nicolette, You were a Christian even then! Yes, I was and still am for your information. I am and will never be exempt from anything life throws at us. As long as we’re involved, something’s bound to go wrong/ human beings; we break things, people and hearts and I was definitely heartbroken.

Trauma had set in. The dormant parts of my life that I thought I had under control, soon erupted causing me to relive past offences over and over again. Memories I was shocked existed, crept out of their holes. Like spiders in the corners of your house chilling in their webs, waiting for their prey to struggle to the death, so did these memories have me, my mind and I was almost consumed.    

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God saved me from my sins and is delivering me daily from the things that were laid upon me. I have mentioned before that even Christians are not without the issues of life nor the issues of people and violations. The bible says that we should hold on because we will overcome the trouble. It says that we do because Christ has overcome the world (John 16 verse 33. I have had to climb through the dirt and rubble of depression and anxiety. My faith wasn’t non-existent but my mind and body were just tired. I laid there with tears in my eyes and the feeling of someone digging a hole from underneath me. It was then I cried out to my God. The foundations of my faith had remained. Scriptures upon scriptures written upon my heart brought to recollection that Hope is risen.

Everything I was feeling at that moment was not permanent but temporary and soon would pass. Many times we make permanent decisions in temporary places. The words tried to come and eventually all that slipped out was “God I know what Your word says, help me!” I was not without counselling and I definitely prayed and to this date pray that I won’t slip back into that state. That was 2017. it’s now 2020 and I continue to fight against trauma and flashbacks, but I know I have hope because of Jesus. He went through suffering and pain temporarily. He went to the grave temporarily only to permanently defeat death, the and hell. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathise with our weakness…” Hebrews 4 verse 15 and so I remember this and know that I too can get through. In the end, it says in Revelation 12 verse 11 that one of the things that cause us as believers to win is the blood of the lamb (Jesus Christ).

 I did want to give up. I almost did, but I’m glad I didn’t. As time went on I was able to face 2018 and by 2019 I realised that the devil sometimes wants to kill the potential in you. I don’t even want to give him too much credit, but this trial tried to break me for sure. The true test of faith the bible speaks of is said to come by fiery trials (1st Peter 1 verse 7). I think its fair to say that I have experienced some fiery trials. Will be the last time I’m tested? I doubt it. I know that it’s hard, however, I’ve experienced hope rising in my life every day since. I will be able to pull through because experience, as they say, brings wisdom. Maybe not for all but for most. And, now I look on to 2020 with hope and love and gratefulness for life.

 I understand that if I hadn’t built my foundation on Christ I would be lost. If I had given up I would have missed out on dating this great person in my life. I would’ve forfeited my destiny and all that God has in store for me. What’s that you ask? We’ll just have to wait and see. “For eye has not seen ear has not heard nor has entered into the heart of man what is prepared for them who love Him.” 1st Corinthians 2 verse 9.   

Resolutions

With the new year in full swing, I wonder how many have already given up on their resolutions? Or have you even begun? It would come as no surprise that many of us say we will do this or not do that but by weeks 2 or 3 we’ve given up. But, is that what resolution means?

The definition runs along the lines of making up one’s mind to do or not to do something. Other words like intention, resolve, decision and aspiration are synonymous with the term, but the one we want to focus on is that of resolve. This points us to opportunity and not only that but a fresh start and since our main aim as Christians is to give people an opportunity to meet Christ, we can also look at the other side of the word which speaks on making amends.

Our resolutions vary from weight loss to learning new things. These are not bad in themselves. However, our aim really should be on what is eternal for the bible states that we are to set your minds on the thing above, not on things on earth Colossians 3 verse 2. In making a resolution we are saying we will begin to prioritize certain things but what we should prioritize is a relationship with Christ.

To the new believer, we urge you on this journey as you walk with Jesus. Begin by making Him number one. This involves a simple decision to pray more or even setting aside time to delve into the scriptures. Don’t worry if you miss a couple of days because no one starts off running. Remember that we are saved by grace through faith not by what we do (Ephesians 2 verses 8 and 9).

To the older believer, is Christ still your everything? We too need to make haste to put our lives in order. Christ needs to still be the centre of our lives.  He isn’t going to accept our putting the world before Him because the world’s standards are not His and He does not change with the times. We see this in the word of God in Hebrews 13 verse 8 “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever.” We are in greater danger of idolatry because we are in the know. We have been exposed to the truth of the gospel and sin and whatever we prioritize above Christ replaces God in our lives. Our God is a jealous God and desires that we have no other God Exodus 34 verse 14. Take care not to lower the place of God in your life.

The best thing one can do is to resolve their relationship with Christ. You may think that it’s too late to begin this resolution but the bible says; the mercies of the Lord are new every morning ( Lamentation 3 verses 22 and 23). Unlike the world who may criticize you for not sticking to your decision, as long as there is breath in you there is an opportunity to make amends with God but don’t leave it because now is the day of salvation 2nd Corinthians 6 verse 2 and we do not know if we will see tomorrow (James 4 verses 13 and 14).

 

I remember

An essence that takes me through time, where I am staring at your feet

Where my eyes begin to carve out your frame.

The sun rays and your voice are home to me.

Wow! So much from a scent

Just one more whiff and the sound of laughter fills the air as daytime soaps and silly jokes bring us close.

Puff puff, you’re going again,

A reminder that you’re leaving.

Take me with you I’d hope, but I would seldomly get my way.

I pride myself on being independent but never am I too proud when I think of how much I need you.